Most of the time you know what is the best thing to do in a situation, right? But a lot of those times you begin to worry about how it will turn out. I bet you regret certain past decisions that you are now overthinking every decision you make. Your mind is telling you all the worst possible outcomes and by the time you realize it, you wasted your time thinking about those negative thoughts rather than making the decision.
Sometimes you rather not take any risks, or sometimes your impulsiveness takes over. Maybe you’re stuck in the first place and have no idea what to do, or you are the kind of person who waits until the last minute and then you decide what to do.
I know, I’ve been there. Actually, I am still there. I am trying not to overthink everything. For example, when I mentioned my husband about making a blog and sharing my thoughts to the world. I was pondering over and over about what if this will be a waste of my time. What if people will judge me? What if nobody reads it? My husband said that it won’t hurt to try. It is not killing anyone by doing what I want to do that makes me happy. So here I am sharing my thoughts to you, my readers, about mindfulness.
What is Mindfulness ?
Mindfulness means that you are fully aware of your thoughts and your feelings and that those thoughts and feelings will not overwhelm or consume you.
That being said, how do you stop worrying? How to stop those negative thoughts?
Simple. You can’t.
Suppressing those thoughts is the worst decision ever. What happens when you suppress bad thoughts? They become more intense and more frequent every time.
Negative thoughts have nothing to do with making decisions.
You can’t help it. Your brain creates thoughts. Period. And yes, that also include negative thoughts because our minds are always cautious. Your brain is trained to spend the time and effort to be cautious with the actions and/or decisions than to feel regret about being careless later in life.
This does not mean that negative thoughts lead to poor behavior or bad choices. Again, your mind creates those thoughts. Your thoughts do not control you. You are the one in charge of your actions and your decisions. Think about it. You were in a situation in which you needed to make a choice. Time was in the essence and you were not sure if this will be good or bad. You made the decision anyways and later on you realized it was the smart choice. It happens all the time.
Don’t believe everything you think.
What happens when things do not go your way? Negative thoughts starts to fill up your mind. Sometimes you are caught up by your thoughts that you cannot tell if its real or not. Like a little voice in your head. You begin to trust it and you will start to believe everything it says. Whether it is good or bad.
Thoughts are so powerful that it can dominate your choices and your actions. Thoughts have the potential to push you around. It has the ability to control you. Kind of like a bully, but in your head.
When your mind brings up bad memories, you start to feel regret.
When your mind creates negative outcomes, you become worried.
Separate your mind from yourself.
Let your thoughts come and go. Don’t hold on to them. Look at them as just ideas, not facts. When you separate yourself from your mind, those thoughts are now just ideas. You can consider them, but not act upon them. Thoughts do not control you.
Write your thoughts in a piece of paper. Kind of like brainstorming. Write everything down. Take a moment to realize that these are just ideas created by your brain. It was not you. Now those ideas are no longer in your head. You can question them. Is this appropriate? Is this correct? When you read it out loud, you will find some of them as silly, inappropriate, and downright wrong.
Are you getting it? I bet you are!!!
If you are able to successfully separate yourself from your brain, this means you have achieved mindfulness.
There will come a time which you will still doubt yourself. For example: If I failed last time, I am pretty sure I will fail again. Your brain told you that you will fail again. Is it true?
Instead of asking your mind if it its true, maybe you should ask your mind if this will help you. Will this thought be good use to you to make a decision? It does not matter whether those thoughts are true. It only matters if those thoughts will help you where you want to be.
Make a decision based on what is relevant, not worries or regrets.
I hope this helps you on how to use mindfulness for a better choices in life to help you achieve your goals and dreams.